Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Free audio post production by auphonic.com.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: Welcome back to another episode of Spill the Tea where we share real stories with real teens. In the past, we've explored how to take your sleep, stress management and even your hair to the next level. But in this episode, we're gonna bring you the secrets of texting like a teenage.
You've probably seen it, the abbreviations, the emojis, the endless use of lol and the tricky navigation of every unwritten rule when texting. Well, today we're going to map out this mess. Whether you're trying to keep up with your kids, connect with a younger audience, or just want to know what all those slang words mean, we've got you covered. Today we are joined by Ethan Lee, a, uh, senior in high school. So by definition an expert in texting. He's gonna help bring you the facts on how to text like a teenager. Let's go.
[00:01:12] Speaker C: So I know there's a big difference between texting on messages and then texting on Snapchat and other social media platforms.
[00:01:20] Speaker A: Yeah, uh, you know that's, that's a really good point. And I think that they're both very, very similar. But the one thing they differ in regards intentions. Right. I think that you're talking to people platforms however, just sending like a text message, you're really talking with people you know, your family members, your friends, people you already know. While if you're talking on Instagram or maybe Snapchat. So you're using these sort of social media platforms to get to know them. While messages are more reserved for a more intimate, well known friend, family kind of relationship.
[00:01:50] Speaker C: Yeah. So it's like messages are your close buddies and stuff while yeah, for sure you would maybe message someone on Instagram if you were just kind of like feeling them out, getting to know em and stuff.
[00:02:00] Speaker A: Yeah. And you honestly see that in a lot of these real life applications. Right. Like the term sliding into someone, someone's DMs.
[00:02:07] Speaker C: I love that.
[00:02:08] Speaker A: You know, you're meeting, you see some girl, she posts like some really pretty photo of herself and you're interested in her. So you quote, slide into her direct messages to try to get to know her. On Snapchat you find someone, some girl's, um, Snapchat, uh, avatar, it's called a Bitmoji these days. So Snapchat avatar, you find that Snapchat avatar super attractive. So you send her a text or you add her on Snapchat asking what she looks like. You know, all of these are examples of meeting new people that you find interesting on these social media platforms. And maybe when you get to know that girl, for example, really, really well, after talking for a few weeks, then you can go ask for her number and then you'll be sending text messages on a more intimate and familial or friendship level.
[00:02:51] Speaker C: I guess kind of getting someone's number is like a next step, kind of. So it's like if you're texting them on Snapchat or Instagram, it's kind of like you're just someone in my pool that I'm considering. But once you actually talk to them on messages, that's like, hey, I'm actually looking forward to like a relationship.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: Right. Like I want you in my life.
[00:03:11] Speaker C: And like, it's not just like, you know, dating, it could be just like as friends.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: Mhm.
[00:03:15] Speaker B: So we are going to be talking.
[00:03:17] Speaker C: About social media in another episode, but for this one we're really just going to be focusing on how do you text like a teenager in messages and only messages. So that's what we're going to be focusing on.
[00:03:30] Speaker A: So teenagers, um, live in a very fast paced society nowadays and I think that that's honestly, uh, brought up because of social media. Right. They have such a short attention span, so they just swipe, see the next video. Swipe, see the next video. And consequently they really focus on prioritizing their time.
[00:03:45] Speaker C: Oh, that's true.
[00:03:45] Speaker A: And consequently they use a lot of abbreviations when texting.
[00:03:49] Speaker C: So we just want to make everything faster. It's like, I'm not saying that we think it's a waste of time, but it's like, why type out a full sentence when can you just abbreviate it with a few letters?
[00:03:59] Speaker A: Right, yeah. Why, you know, like why, why waste 30 seconds of your life when you can just send a simple, for example, WYA text, which means where are you at? So if you're asking where your friend is, maybe at school, you want to meet up with them for lunch, you can send a, uh, wya, where you at? Text.
[00:04:15] Speaker C: And so that's a classic example of greetings and goodbyes. And I think having abbreviations, it kind of makes you a little cool, a little mainstream in a way. You know, like it's a little more casual and saying, hey, I'm asking how you're doing, but I'm not saying how are you doing? And saying like, where you at? Like you said, wya.
[00:04:35] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, you're a little bit standoffish, a little aloof, you're like, yeah, you know, I mean I can spend a little bit of time on you, but you know, I mean, I'm a, I'm a, I'm like a high rolling dude, but I don't have much time. I'm always involved in this kind of stuff.
[00:04:47] Speaker C: Seems like an ego thing.
[00:04:48] Speaker A: Yep, totally. So some other, uh, abbreviations for um, you know, greetings and goodbyes are what? Wyd, which is what are you doing? For example, if you're, if you're free on like a Saturday, you've got nothing to do. All your friends are out of town, for example, and you know, maybe like one of your closest friends are in town, you don't know what they're doing. You can say a W, Y, D, where like, what are you doing? You know, like, are you free to hang out?
[00:05:09] Speaker C: Basically, yeah, like it's kind of a question. Instead of just saying, you know, what are you doing right now? It's really, do you want to hang out? That's really what that means for sure.
[00:05:16] Speaker A: So I think that they all sort of relate to that idea of let's hang out. And the WYD is just a way of asking if you don't have plans, you should hang out with me.
[00:05:25] Speaker B: So remember, we have our most common greetings, the wia, where you at? And the wyd, what you doing? Both being very fast, very casual, and definitely very teenager. On the flip side of things, we have texting abbreviations when saying goodbye.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: So now moving on to sort of abbreviations and goodbyes. Uh, I want to start off with a disclaimer saying that ending any text message or even a conversation with an abbreviation in an abrupt manner is very impolite.
[00:05:56] Speaker C: So you come off as a little bit of a jerk.
[00:05:58] Speaker A: Yeah. So you know, like even on call when you're saying, oh, oh, you know, the dog needs me, or you know, my mom's calling me, for example, you're gonna be doing that on text as well, saying, oh, something came up. Then you can follow it up with an abbreviation saying, I gotta go. But, um, just like you will in person, you need an actual reason to leave the conversation on text and then you can follow it up with an abbreviation.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Yeah. So for example, if you're talking with.
[00:06:22] Speaker C: Somebody over text and you wanna end the conversation, then you might say, oh, my mom is calling me. Ttyl talk to you later. Or you could say, I have to go to driver's ed now. Gtg got to go.
[00:06:38] Speaker A: Yeah, and one more, just sort of goodbye I want to cover, uh, is, and this is honestly really just used in either a really deep familial relationship or an intimate relationship with your partner, for example, is the I L Y, which means I love you. So, you know, if you're saying, like, if you're talking to your mom and you just finished a conversation, let's say I'm in college and she's checking up on me, I would be like, okay, well, um, I gotta go study for my calculus test. I.L.Y. i love you.
[00:07:08] Speaker B: To recap, texting abbreviations. When saying goodbye, it's important to remember that you need a reason to leave a texting conversation with someone. Just like how you would need one in person. Then you can throw in a quick and casual abbreviation, like gtg meaning got to go, or a CYA, meaning see ya.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: So after covering those greetings and goodbyes, let's get to the meat and potatoes of these texting abbreviations that we'll be seeing almost every single day. And you know, you can use these with your partner, your coworker, uh, your friends. You can even use these with strangers. You will see these pop up in almost every single text messaging conversation. So the first one I want to cover are is RN and idk. IDK stands for I don't know. If someone asks you a question, you can respond with the brief idk, I don't know. And then RN refers to time, which means right now. For example, mom, I need you to fill out this form. RN, I need to fill. I need you to fill out this form right now.
[00:08:10] Speaker C: I will say, I think, like Ethan, you talked about idk. That's probably one of my favorite ones. I don't know. And people, teenagers, we use it so often on text that we'll actually say in person. Some people will literally say the letters IDK in a conversation in person.
[00:08:27] Speaker A: And so another one that especially parents can use are tbh, which means to be honest. And that sort of serves as a tool and instrument to really emphasize that you're being honest and you're trying to connect with your teenager. And you're. And you're not avoiding the facts, and you're not avoiding the logic. For example, if you're grounding your teenager and, uh, they say, what did I do wrong? You can follow it up with a tbh, you broke the house rules, you broke my trust in with you, and consequently, you're grounded for a few days.
[00:09:01] Speaker C: And I will say tbh, it does mean exactly what it stands for, to be honest. But it also adds a level of casualness. In a way, it softens it, right?
[00:09:12] Speaker A: And that's certainly super important, because when you're explaining yourself to somebody, you want to sort of have that softness and that casualness that allows you to connect with that person at a level of friendship. Uh, it really just sort of de. Escalates the situation and calms it down. So let's sort of move on to some abbreviations that do quite the opposite. And one I want to touch on actually relates to this idea of dry texting, where you're using an abbreviation in such an abrupt way that it sends even though it's small, even though it's simple, it has a more deeper and more powerful meaning in abrupt, impolite manner. For example, the word or abbreviation, K, is an effective way to end a conversation that you do not want to be part of. Then you want them to know that you also do not want to be part of. K just means like, okay, for example, if mom says, I want you to do the dishes, and you've done the dishes 50 nights in a row, you can end the, uh, conversation with K, which means, okay, I'm agreeing with you. But that means it's more of like a reluctant agree. You're ending the conversation in an impolite way. You're not sort of providing a prerequisite of why you're leaving the conversation. You're not saying, I've got a calc test you got to study for. You're just finishing off with K. It.
[00:10:30] Speaker C: Adds sort of finality to your decision. And also it's similar to if you're arguing with someone and they make a statement, they say, this is how it's supposed to be, period. When people say period in an argument, that's kind of similar to when people text K. Yeah, Like I said, it adds a finality where, fine, you've said your bit, I'm angry with you, or I'm not agreeing with you, but I'm leaving the conversation. The counterpart to that is kk, where it's two lowercase k's next to each other. And that kind of means the exact opposite. So if K is an angry K final text, then KK is an oh, okay, I, I'm good with that, or I'm happy. It kind of adds a perky, upbeat sort of final tone to the conversation.
[00:11:20] Speaker A: Yeah. And not only does it sound upbeat, it also looks upbeat. Right. Like you're spending that extra millisecond to text that extra K, which means that you are, although you're leaving the conversation, you're going to spend a little bit more time to formulate a goodbye text by Spending that extra millisecond attach another K there.
[00:11:41] Speaker C: It's giving the person the extra syllable really.
[00:11:43] Speaker A: Uh, you're putting in more effort to end the conversation with them, which means you care about them and you cared about that conversation.
[00:11:49] Speaker C: Yeah, I think one of my favorite, I guess it's not exactly an abbreviation, but my favorite is fr for real. And we don't always text this all the time, but teenagers say it all the time and it is casual. And I think it's kind of just one of those extra syllable filler words in a way.
[00:12:11] Speaker A: You know, FR is a very validating statement. If, uh, your friend says, wow, that test was so difficult, you can follow it up with a fr, which means for real, like I totally agree with you, that test was insanely difficult. So in, in a way it's a very validating statement. Okay.
[00:12:31] Speaker C: So yeah, I guess it's validating without going off the charts, you know, like it's saying, yeah, I totally agree with you but I'm like not gonna vent or perseverate over it.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: Yeah. And so another validating statement that's not super, I love you so much all up in your face. And this abbreviation is tysm. Um, and although it means thank you so much because it's abbreviated, it doesn't pack as strong of a punch. If you're truly really thankful to someone for helping you move your couch, for example, you're gonna either give em a call or send them a long thought out paragraph instead of a tysm. So this can be used as a validation for someone's effort. If it's something small. For example, like if they give you a ride somewhere, like a five minute ride, and if they're going to the same spot, you can hit them up with a tysm. However, if they're helping you move houses, you're not going to send them a tysm. You're going to send them flowers and get, or at least give them a call. That's the bare minimum.
[00:13:28] Speaker C: And I think it's important to notice that there's a lot of nuance to tysm. And so without proper punctuation it can come off as sarcastic. So if you were to just send tysm, um, no punctuation, no capital letters whatsoever, some people might interpret that as saying, oh, they're saying thank you, but they don't really mean it. They're being passive aggressive. And that brings us into the use of punctuation in texting.
[00:14:06] Speaker B: The use of punctuation when texting can.
[00:14:09] Speaker C: Be put under the category of do's and don'ts. So there are four general do's and don'ts when it comes to texting. The first one we're going to talk about is punctuation. Then we're going to talk about capital letters, number three paragraphs. And lastly we're going to chat about memes. First, we're going to talk about punctuation. And I think it's important for people to remember that even though text has all the punctuation you could find on a keyboard, you're not writing an email. Texting is a level of casualness, and so you really only want to use two or three of the punctuation available.
[00:14:47] Speaker A: So I actually touched on a little bit earlier about the importance of speed when texting. And just like when you add the extra kit after the K, it's the same relationship with punctuation. If you add that extra exclamation mark or question mark, that really adds an emphasis of power to your text. Um, let's say that someone just told you a crazy statement about your dog and you follow up with a question.
Then it is appropriate to apply a question mark because you're like, what? That almost adds a level of power. It adds a level of almost definement and a level of emotion to your sentence. If you're just asking a classic, you know, just daily question to your friend that you know, you don't care if they respond to you right away or they respond to you in a few hours, in most cases, you do not need to add any punctuation to texting. However, when you really need that answer right away, when you want to emphasize your emotion, your level of, your level of surprise, then it is appropriate to add a level of punctuation to that text.
[00:15:51] Speaker C: So a general wya where you at that doesn't need a question mark, even though it is a question, you don't need to put a question mark at the end of that. The other standard punctuation for texting is the exclamation point. And this one is used a lot. And it generally is used to describe happy or positive emotions, but it can also denote like a sense of alarm as well.
[00:16:16] Speaker A: So, for example, um, let's say that let's say your aunt Tiffany, for example, has a very loud, screamy kid and your mother says, oh my God, Aunt Tiffany wants to go out tonight and she really needs someone to take care of her kid. I signed you up to take care of her loud, screamy kid. Then you can follow up with a OMG tysm. Um, oh my God, thank you so much. Thank you so much for signing me up to baby's hit her screaming kid who likes to throw around food.
[00:16:47] Speaker C: But if you put an exclamation point at the end of tysm, then that tells the person that you actually mean thank you. If your aunt texted you that she just, uh, adopted a new dog and you say, that's great. If you text, that's great, and you don't add an exclamation point, it seems like you're being sarcastic. You're saying, oh, that's so great. But if you add an exclamation point to the end of that, then it comes off of, uh, that's great. I'm so happy for you. That's what that really means.
[00:17:16] Speaker B: So, really, exclamation points are generally used to add a level of sincerity to a positive emotion, like excitement. Excitement or happiness.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Um, I think the reason that we see a lot more exclamation points instead of question marks is because it usually denotes a level of excitement, a cheery emotion that people are usually happy to share with someone else. And it's. Which is more common than to sort of share a level of surprise.
[00:17:44] Speaker B: Yep, I totally agree with you. And moving on, I actually think that.
[00:17:48] Speaker C: Periods are less common when it comes to texting.
[00:17:50] Speaker A: I think, yeah. Uh, I think that again, I want to reiterate that it all boils down to what emotions you want to share with the other person. And we covered a lot of these levels of excitement, a lot of these happy emotions. So when you're sort of conveying these angry emotions that aren't as common and art as usual to communicate, uh, to somebody on text, then that's where we start to delve into the periods.
[00:18:15] Speaker C: Yeah, periods. It gives a sense of anger and shortness with that person and that they're being. They're clipped. Their sentences are clipped and annoyed and abrupt. That's what the period really means. And sometimes if you're in the car and Siri asks, do you want to respond? She'll add a period to the end of the sentence. But most of the time, people never really use them.
[00:18:39] Speaker A: Right. Um, you know, when I text my hairstylist to set an appointment, she almost always texts with periods. And granted, she doesn't know what, uh, it really symbolizes when texting with a teenager, but I need to really just back up and remind myself that that's just the she texts and not to take it seriously or not to take it personally. Um, if you want to tie something to the period, it's very similar to, like, the K when you're using an abbreviation. Again, it's abrupt, it's succinct, and it's almost ending your conversation, but you're ending your sentences. It's the same concept.
[00:19:13] Speaker C: And I would also like to say, usually when you're texting, you shouldn't have a text long enough to have periods in it. And that kind of brings us to our next do and don't, which is paragraphs.
[00:19:26] Speaker A: When texting, we're talking about paragraphs. Mom, do you want to sort of talk about that, uh, that paragraph you sent to me a week ago when I was, uh, away in Boston College?
[00:19:37] Speaker D: Sure. So this was a text I sent. Hey, hon. How's your day going?
Did you take your chemistry test? I hope you did well.
I know how hard you studied. Period. Did you end up asking that girl out? Uh, what did she say? Were you nervous?
That was all in one paragraph.
[00:20:00] Speaker C: I'm getting tired thinking about it. Just one big solid chunk of blue that has, like, all the words in it. And three periods, four question marks. Oh, my gosh. What was your response?
[00:20:11] Speaker A: I responded with a single word. Yes.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:20:14] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:20:15] Speaker C: And so there is kind of a running joke about paragraphs. And for teenagers, you never, ever see paragraphs unless there's a breakup happening. That's basically what it is. And so I remember I had a friend and she was texting, and she. I looked over her shoulder and it was this one big giant paragraph. And I was like, oh, crap, she's breaking up with her boyfriend.
[00:20:37] Speaker A: Yeah. I personally want to just throw in that breaking up over text isn't ideal, but lots of teenagers are nervous. Lots of teenagers are almost scared to bring it up in person. So they're gonna send you a long, heartfelt text explaining why it's not you. It's just a situation. And they could honestly say that in a few sentences, but they feel like they need to stretch it out into a paragraph using periods, exclamation marks, and question marks.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: So how would you respond to a long breakup text?
[00:21:08] Speaker A: Yeah. So, uh, recently my friend actually received one of those texts. And granted, he's only been dating this girl for two weeks, and he received an almost three second scroll. When it comes to a text, if you do not know what that means, it's almost a one word, 12 spaced, times new Roman font, typed out word document on his phone and he said, yo, bro, you've got to check out this text, dude. She. It. I'm just. It just sucks. So I said, all right, well, how did you respond? I scrolled all the way down to the end of the text. It was a G's.
[00:21:42] Speaker C: All right, so did, did he text G's in all caps?
[00:21:48] Speaker A: He texted in just regular caps. You know, he wanted to sort of pretend to be aloof, sort of. Oh, you know, it's, it's no big deal. You know, like, it's, it's all right. Like I have a few other people lined up. Don't worry about it. But I think in reality, he was really, really sad.
[00:22:03] Speaker B: And for the record, we are not recommending that you break up with your partner over text. Those breakup texts are tough and also a very visually scary thing to look at. Which is why if you're texting, avoid sending long paragraphs.
Another category under our texting do's and don'ts is the use of capital letters.
[00:22:23] Speaker A: When it comes to all caps versus lowercase letters. Most of the people you come across will be lowercase textures. However, you will come across that, uh, rather excited, quirky all caps textures. And it's not that they're trying to convey a different emotion, they're just quirky and they just love texting with all caps.
[00:22:41] Speaker C: I love texting with all caps because it, for me that's how I express my emotion without overly using the exclamation point. And so if instead of saying what question mark exclamation point as in like a, uh, what? That's crazy. I might text all capital letters what to kind of add like a what kind of feeling to it without overusing punctuation.
[00:23:05] Speaker A: I mean, it all really boils down to emotion. And lots of people will text in all caps to provide a very powerful statement regarding emotion. They're super surprised, they're super happy, all that good stuff.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: And so you would use all capital letters to express that.
[00:23:25] Speaker C: As a final do and don't. Piece of advice for parents.
[00:23:28] Speaker B: Try not to send your kids memes.
[00:23:32] Speaker C: And when I say memes, don't send.
[00:23:35] Speaker B: Your kids gifs, I think they're called.
[00:23:37] Speaker C: Like the moving pictures. Don't send them those. Don't send them the memes that have like a picture and then those big white all cap Hollywood like sign looking letters. Don't send them those because I know it's well meaning and they can be fun, but it comes off as a little bit cringy.
[00:23:54] Speaker B: And on a similar note, uh, emojis when texting are complicated. A lot of them have double meanings and those meanings are constantly changing. So we're actually not going to cover emojis. Today.
[00:24:10] Speaker A: So let's sort of end off with just a little bit. Just a little quiz.
[00:24:14] Speaker C: Well, maybe just a little question.
[00:24:17] Speaker A: Do you text with your two thumbs or do you text with a pointer finger? Virginia. What? Do you text with two thumbs?
[00:24:23] Speaker C: Definitely.
[00:24:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I text with two thumbs too. Mom. What do you text with one finger?
[00:24:29] Speaker C: Oh, my God. It's like when you're learning to type in elementary school and you kind of like chicken pack it.
[00:24:34] Speaker A: By chance, is it that one right pointer finger?
Yeah. So you pass the quiz. Mom, you are an adult. Virginia and I are teens. If you text with your two middle finger, your two thumbs, you are 18. If you text with that one right pointer finger, you are an adult.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: In this episode, we did learn about texting, abbreviations and how to use them, but we also heard about how teenagers infuse emotion into a conversation without using facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice. The teen use of acronyms, punctuation, and capital letters is certainly complex, but hopefully this episode of Spill the Tea helped to unravel all the techniques on how to tap text like a teenager. Thanks for listening. TTYL Ttyl thank you for listening to this episode of Spill the Tea where we share real stories with real teens. We hope you enjoyed this episode. Special thanks to our producer, Dr. Melissa Lee, our chief editor, Natalie Light, and the music composed and performed by Steven Light.
Opinions expressed or views expressed do not necessarily reflect or represent those of the host. Such views are merely opinions expressed. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just a teen. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: Free audio post production by aufonic.com.
